The computer flickers, cracks and burns to life. The gentle hum of the disk drive and the pouring rain outside my window are the only sounds. A big black mug filled with a dark, hazy blend of coffee. I take it all in. The smell of the coffee just next to me, steam rising in giant vaporous swirls, dancing just below my nose. The warmth from the summer sun- leaving it’s impressions on the earth for all to feel well into the night. Many have gone to sleep, almost like some infectious outbreak, spreading from home to home. In droves they slumber. I however, do not.
The patter of my keyboard and the dancing rain drops on my roof bring a special kind of peace to my soul. The night, beautiful, carefree, and wild. It has the power to untame the most domesticated. I feel so at ease. My body relaxes as tensions from the day begin to recede like the tide before a tsunami.
As summer quickly breaks into this year, the days all seem to blend into one another. The longer they are, the more I can’t differentiate. The night is the only time I gain any clairvoyance. It’s quiet and dark- far away does the cry’s of children’s laughter fill the air. Long has it been since the chive, easy, songs of the morning birds rang so clearly.
During the day I feel as if I’m drowning. Thought’s of dreams, so clouded, ever changing, always fading. My mind trying to cling on to an emotion. To describe that feeling seem fleeting. It’s negative one moment, and positive the next.
To say I’m going insane, may be putting it lightly. I could just be discovering something about myself I never knew.