The past couple of days have been a stressful, over dramatic, over hysterical, mess. My family is completely on the fence with me going out and testing myself. It’s a pretty sucky situation, but if I can overcome this, then … Continue reading
It’s been a long time since I’ve been this enthralled in something. I’m so utterly engrossed in the fact that in just 76 short days, my life- as i know it, is changing forever. I honestly can’t be any more … Continue reading
Putting my self in the right state of mind has been difficult, as illustrated in my previous posts. It’s something that is going to have to take time and care. I’m trying to keep it positive but It’s exciting, and new -so naturally I’m going to be worried about it. I want to just let go of all that and embrace it for what it is. I’m going to help people, change lives -including my own. See new faces, make new friends, experience new cultures. I can take so much from them while giving something back at the same time. It seems very symbiotic to me.
I have so many distractions at home to try and stay on task. Money, food, stuff -it’s all cluttering my brain. I need to limit some things. A few simple steps I’m working on and I’m not sure if this is going in the right direction, or it’s just silly. I’m trying to get in the right state of mind here are a few things I’m doing to prepare for that.
Recently I’ve been branching out from the “normal American diet”, which consists of foods with so much crap in them like, frozen meals to cereals, even the condiments. Instead I’ve been making a conscious effort to eat fruits and veggies when ever available. I only drink water and tea so that’s no problem. Lot’s of brown or field rice with beans. I’m planning on expanding to fish, it’s not my favorite, but if it can keep me alive and it’s all that’s available. I guess I better suck it up! Who knows I might enjoy it.
So. I’ve got so much junk.I just take a quick sweep around my room, I got posters and other wall objects. I have a T.V. I hardly use and when I do it’s for video games THAT I HARDLY USE. I’ve got books that I’ve read trinkets from my favorite sports teams. Board games. Clothing I NEVER wear. Bag’s and shoes and the list goes on of all the stuff I have in my room alone, that I could get rid of and never miss it. I’ve read lot’s of blogs. Scrolled through so many hours of articles and realize I AM better off getting rid of this stuff. It’s cluttering my brain, and it’s such a distraction. To get rid of it so I’m left with clothes that I wear, a few small items that mean a lot to me and something to pack it all up in.
Believe it or not, I count on this blog like I count on walking around if I had no legs. It IS my crutch. If I didn’t have it, if I never wrote down all these ideas in a very social way, then I feel I would never do it and it would be just another project for me to never get to fruition. It gives me time to reflect, to stop and think and take note as it’s happening. I do so enjoy letting my feelings and what I’m thinking fly out onto the screen and let my friends and family see. Not every day do you get to talk with everyone. What better way for someone to really get to know you than to follow their blog posts, or rambling thoughts on a world gone awry.
I’ve made a conviction, a promise to myself that I will see this through. As a man who’s never left the eastern seaboard of the USA, I have such a naive sense of wonder. I want to explore, to be, to see and to help. We, in my mind are all bound by one thing. We’re all humans, each deserving the same respect to others regardless of status, creed, race, ethnicity, culture. I’m and American, but I’m a Human Being first and foremost.